Sandra Vargas, do Canadá, nos manda mais essa gréia, de autor desconhecido. Não sei não, mas parece que é uma declaração de amor a uma tal de Alberta.
DIARY OF A NON-SURVIVOR
Aug.12 Moved to our new home in Alberta. It is so beautiful here.
Oct.14 Alberta is the most beautiful place on earth, the leaves are turned all different colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the farmland and saw some deer; they were so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth.
Nov.11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon, I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard! We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snow-plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again; What a beautiful place. I love Alberta.
Dec.12 More snow last night. The snowplow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec.19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of my driveway to work. I am exausted shovelling snow; fuc*ing snowplow.
Dec.22 More of the white sh*t fell again last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shovelling. I think that snowplow hides around the curves and waits until I'm done shovelling the driveway. As*hole!
Dec.25 Merry fuc*ing Christmas! More frig*en snow. If I ever get my hands on that son of a b*tch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll kill the bast*rd.
Dec.27 More white sh*t last night. Have been inside for 3 days except for shovelling out the driveway after the snowplow goes through everytime. Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white sh*t. The weatherman says to expect another 15 cm of the sh*t again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 15 cm is?
Dec.28 The weatherman was wrong. We got 40 cm of the white sh*t this time. At this rate, it won't melt before next SUMMER. The snowplow got stuck up the road and that bast*rd came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had broken six shovels already shovelling all the sh*t he pushed into my driveway, I broke my last one over his f*cking head.
Jan. 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damn deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $4000 damage to the car. Those f*cking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all in November.
May 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out of that f*cking salt they put all over the roads?
May 10 Moved to British Columbia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind, would ever live in that Godforsaken province of Alberta!
Glossário
Snowplow - caminhão ou camionete caçamba que tira a neve das estradas e ruas e a empilha pelas calçadas; shovel - tirar neve com pá; driveway - entrada para a garagem; Godforsaken - esquecida por Deus; deer season - estacao de caça de veados.
Retorna
